A Vacation With Kids, Lots of Luggage, And A Loose Diamond

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things is a phrase that highlights life’s mishaps and mayhem that leave an indelible mark on our memories. In my childhood home, This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things was a classic hit, just like It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Hurt.

Vacationing With Kids

Years ago, my husband and I flew with our two young kids to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon and Sedona. The flight schedule was not ideal—we landed in Phoenix around 2:00 AM and were all exhausted. I was glad we had opted to stay at an airport hotel instead of picking up our car rental and driving anywhere that night. A quick ride on the airport shuttle bus would let us all get some sleep.

The flight had been uneventful. Our kids were good travelers, and each had a little carry-on bag with wheels filled with their essentials—stuffed animals, coloring books for the flight, a few snacks, and any books or toys they would need during the hours we would be driving. What they brought was up to them, now that they were ‘old enough’ to carry their own bag. All their essentials, including underwear, were in the bags I packed.

After grabbing all our carry-ons and deplaning, we headed to baggage claim. For a change, the claim area wasn’t too crazy. Other passengers were pulling their bags off the conveyor belt, but we weren’t three people deep. So after a bit of jostling and doing a quick count, we were off to the shuttle bus.

A Loose Diamond Is Lost

The shuttle bus was very quiet. No one was speaking at this hour. Until my daughter, who sat across from me, said calmly, ‘Mommy, your ring is broken.’

I looked down to find the diamond missing from my engagement ring. It’s super-obvious when you lose a stone, regardless of its size. The setting looks a bit creepy on your hand with a hole in the middle where the main stone should be. Why was the first thing that rang through my head, This is why we can’t have nice things? (More on this later)

Question: Why does everyone start looking around their feet, regardless of where they are, when they discover they’ve lost something? I wonder what the chances are of discovering you’ve lost a diamond, and finding that diamond at your feet, all within two seconds. Close to nil, I bet.

When did we last see the stone? Since I had been coloring with my daughter on the plane, I knew one of us would have noticed a ‘broken’ ring on the plane if I had lost it before boarding. We quickly made the assumption that I lost it sometime after deplaning. But we couldn’t ask the driver to return quickly to the gate and baggage claim area. So we sat there silently, thinking about the time ticking by as we rode the shuttle bus route.

The Hero Of This Story

Long story short, the kids and I got off the bus at the hotel and checked in while my husband continued the shuttle express (that stopped at several more hotels that night) back to the baggage claim area. His thought was that pulling bags off the carousel and piling them on the carriage was definitely a place for a loose stone to fall out without notice.

About an hour later, my husband returned. He said he went to the baggage claim area, where a worker was vacuuming the carpet. He went to where we had been waiting for our bags, looked down, picked the stone up from the carpet, and headed to the hotel. He said he was there less than five minutes.

Turns out our biggest challenge was making sure that we kept the loose diamond safe inside a wad of tissue, that was inside an envelope, that was inside a deep front pocket, on our person, at all times.

Why Say, ‘This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things’?

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things is a phrase that highlights life’s mishaps and mayhem that leave an indelible mark on our memories. In my childhood home, This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things was a classic hit, just like It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Hurt.

There’s a cause and effect to things you do or don’t do. You can’t have nice things if you don’t take care of them. You might not have nice things if others don’t take care of them—if they don’t respect you or your belongings. If you have a very active household, you may struggle to have nice things.

But here’s the thing to recognize:

Nice things are ordinary things you need and use daily, or decadent things that are irreplaceable. Nice things are just things. It’s not about the dollar value of an item.

This is why we can’t have nice things was a saying that my mom used, sadly, fairly often as we were growing up. Once, a few of us kids were running around the house and broke a lamp that we knew our mom loved. Mom yelled, This is why we can’t have nice things! In other words, because you were running inside the house (breaking a rule), you broke something important to me, and now it’s gone forever. The lamp I like and can’t afford to buy again, nor could I find one if I could afford one, is now trash.

Other times, the saying was used when:

  • My sister cut the hair off my new doll. No, it didn’t grow back. And, she didn’t even become a hairdresser when she grew up!

  • Someone was loading the dishwasher too quickly and broke a few glasses.

  • Someone left a tool outside (after they were told to ‘put it where it belongs’ when you’re done with it) and it rusted useless.

  • Someone threw a sweater in the washer and dryer (on high heat) with the tag, ‘Hand wash. Line dry flat.’

The list goes on.

Using This Phrase Today

Today, my sisters and I use this phrase to laugh about a situation that is challenging or when something stupid has happened. It’s a great way to summarize a story.

A stupid act (or a person not thinking or rushing through something) can cause a stupid result. Smart, careful people can cause stupid things to happen, too.

It’s just life. There will always be a situation where you can say, This is why we can’t have nice things and feel a bit better about whatever happened.

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