If I Were Thinner…A Myth (Or Delusion) Many Women Still Entertain With Regularity
Note: This article is just a silly way of coping with age and everyday life. I am not a health professional and will not pretend to know what an ideal weight is for any individual. In no way am I saying weight loss or gain isn’t important to health and wellbeing. In fact, there are many reasons individuals shouldn’t be too heavy or too thin.
Somewhere during their twenties or thirties, some women start collecting myths. Not fairy tales. Not urban legends. The kind of myths that they can quietly carry around for decades.
Perhaps it starts out as a way of coping with a very busy life. Juggling a full-time job while doing your best to be a hands-on parent. Days are exhausting. Dinner is prepped without first unwinding from the commute. Weeks start out simple, but there are at least a few days complicated by conflicting demands. There’s never a moment for yourself and your needs. Go. Go. Go.
The biggest myth?
If I were thinner,
everything would feel better.
I remember that while raising a family, weight wasn’t just a number on the scale. It was about who women imagined they could become once they were thin. Thank you so much to the advertising gurus of virtually all brands who shoved it down our throats at the time. Clearly, a thinner person (a woman) would be happier, more confident, more energetic, and therefore probably better at many of their daily duties. Or, at least feel less tired at the end of the day.
My Personal ‘Back-In-The-Day’
Early in my career, the office dress code was suits for both men and women. Then, casual Fridays were introduced (no casual wear like jeans, sandals, or shorts). How many decades was I the only woman at the table during management-level meetings? (Photo: Krawatte Net from Pixabay)
My personal journey with weight was fairly carefree (blissfully lucky, without realizing just how lucky) for years.
I was pretty thin until my mid-forties—a size 2 pre-kids; a size 4 post-kids, when I kept an extra four pounds long-term. I had to shop at stores that carried petite sizes for all my suits. Then, I started gaining 1-2 pounds a year—I call it ‘the creep’ because those pounds creep up on you and because weight gain is a total creep. A real jerk.
He (yes, he’s male because a female wouldn’t do this to her female friends) shows up usually during the busiest years of your life. Then, doesn’t leave.
Or, he shows up post-menopause just as you’re getting excited about the freedom of no periods, no pregnancies, and more moments to think about yourself. Moments you didn’t want to spend getting rid of those extra pounds.
Post-Menopause Reality
Photo credit: ‘Create an image with the words myths and facts’ prompt, ChatGPT, 8-19-26.
And, it turns out, the creep is more in-your-face than earlier in life, particularly as you do your darnest to age gracefully through post-menopause.
Now, older and wiser than our younger selves, we should call out the myths around being thin for what they are—myths, not truths.
Myth #1: If I Were Thinner, I'd Be More Confident.
Here’s the reality: Confidence doesn't come in a smaller size. I've met women who wear a size 2 and apologize for or question themselves about everything. I was that woman 30 years ago. It took years, but I gained confidence in myself as I lived life to the fullest.
Myth #2: Losing Ten Pounds Will Change My Life
Here’s the reality: Ten pounds might change how your jeans fit. But it doesn't change your marriage, your finances, how often your kids call, whether you have friends you like to spend time with, or the fact that you groan without awareness every time you sit down or get up from the couch.
That said, losing 10 pounds might lower your BMI, which is a true benefit. It might even help you lower the dosage amount of some medications you take (this has been the case for me), and is one reason I’m currently following a non-GLP-1 weight management program. However, it’s not going to change your social life or family relationships. Lose weight if it will benefit your health and wellness.
Myth #3: I’ll Buy Nice Clothes When I Lose The Weight
Here’s the reality: Years go by while you’re wearing "good enough" clothes, while waiting for the version of you who deserves to feel beautiful every day, including today. Buy the sassy blouse or that kick-ass pair of shoes. And wear them with some attitude—even if you have to leverage ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ confidence to do so.
And buy clothes in colors that make you shine. Ditch the black unless it’s part of your color palette. I’m a big believer in the merits of Personal Color Analysis and learning what color palette looks best on you. A few professional color analysis consultants include Color Me Beautiful and House of Colour.
Myth #4: Everyone Notices My Weight
Here’s the reality: Most people are far too busy worrying about their own weight and how they look to others. We are a self-absorbed lot.
Anyone who comments negatively on your weight is an ass, not a friend or someone you want to befriend. They’re not worth your time or thoughts. Bless their little hearts.
Myth #5: I’ll Travel When I Feel Better About My Body
Here’s the reality (and this myth is a favorite of mine because I love to wipe this thought out of the mind of anyone who thinks this way): No one ever comes home from a fun adventure saying, "The little villages we stopped at were so picturesque and welcoming. I just wish I hadn’t eaten so much even though it was the best food I’d had anywhere."
Travelers remember what they saw and experienced, including the local culture and cuisine. Embrace it all while traveling, and get back on track, food-wise, when you’re back home with great memories. Why travel and restrict your experience if there’s no reason other than you don’t want to gain a few pounds? Plus, oftentimes, people don’t see a weight gain while away because they’re more active than when at home.
When in Italy, eat the cannoli and pasta with gusto!
I’ve never understood why people who want to travel and can afford to travel postpone trips. If this is your tendency, consider this: There’s a good chance that the time (for your body and health) is never going to be better than today. Don’t put your dreams on hold or postpone them.
Challenge Your Personal Myths
So many of us have created myths that become barriers to our happiness and to living our lives to their fullest. We decide we’ll have happiness ‘when I have this’ or ‘when I do that’.
When
I'm thinner.
I retire.
The kids move out.
I remodel the kitchen.
I find the right partner.
I pay off this debt.
I’ve saved some money.
I’ve worked on myself. (whatever that means)
Life has a funny way of reminding us that happiness doesn't wait patiently at the finish line. The clock is always ticking. And it ticks louder and faster the older we get.
The Truth Will Set You Free
Here’s the hard truth: One day you'll realize the years you spent waiting for your "perfect body" were the years your body was carrying and/or raising children, hugging friends, dancing at weddings, hiking and sightseeing on vacations, and laughing until your stomach hurt.
All of us (particularly women) need to realize that our bodies, from size 2 to 52, deserve a little more gratitude and a lot less criticism.
We don’t need to become some other version of ourselves to enjoy life—that’s the biggest myth of all. How delusional of us!
Allow me to whisper in your ear,
"Go to the beach."
"Let him take the picture."
"Wear the sleeveless dress."
"Dance at the wedding."
"Order dessert once in a while."
And stop waiting for permission to enjoy your own life, even if you have a few extra pounds to carry on your journey.
