5 Tips for Traveling with your Adult Kids
My daughter and I enjoy traveling and new experiences.
When she was in high school we agreed to go on a ‘mother-daughter’ trip when she graduated from college. It was a priority I placed on my Bucket List.
Then COVID hit the spring of her senior year in college. And we were still in the midst of the pandemic when she received her master’s degree the following year. But we kept it on the bucket list for post-COVID and went once the world reopened in 2022.
Ireland is a Great Travel Choice
We traveled to Ireland for two weeks and had a blast! We opted for a small group tour (seven travelers in a comfortable van) and did the full loop of the island covering both Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. The itinerary included top tourist sites (Black Cab tour in Belfast, Giant’s Causeway, Cliffs of Moher, Galway, and Dingle), plus off-the-beaten-path towns and experiences including a traditional weaver, sheepdog demonstration, traditional Irish music, and more.
What’s the secret to having a great time when parents and adult kids travel together? The two of us came up with these suggestions when we returned with only happy memories.
5 Tips for Parents Traveling with Adult Kids
Let them pick the destination and length of the trip
If you feel you need some control, come up with a few destinations they can choose from. Let them make the final choice. Ireland had been my last international trip before COVID hit and it was my first trip after restrictions were lifted. Spending time with my daughter and experiencing Ireland through her eyes was worth the back-to-back trips there. I wanted one-on-one time with her away from our jobs and responsibilities.
Both of you have to agree on how long the trip will be and when you’ll go. Remember that they have other responsibilities like a job, girlfriend or boyfriend, and a busy social calendar. They may feel good about being away for a week but taking two weeks away may stress them out. Go over the itineraries if there are choices and let them know what will be gained or lost with the different lengths of trip available.
Given the trip was a graduation gift to my daughter, the bill was on me. For those of you trying to figure out how you split the bill when traveling together as paying adults, a future article will focus on cost-splitting. Stay tuned.
Consider a small group tour (no more than 16 people)
Everyone is better behaved when there are other people around.
A tour removes some of the day-to-day decision-making and driving responsibilities so you can both relax and enjoy your trip. For a tour of Ireland, a good choice is Mark Doherty, Connect the Dot Tours. I’ve traveled with Mark several times and he is not only a great tour guide and all-around nice guy, but he’s also aware of individual interests, is very entertaining, and as my daughter says, ‘ is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met!’
Stop parenting
This one might be a hard one but you are traveling with another adult. They are your equal on this adventure. That means they are responsible for themselves including setting their own alarm and keeping track of their personal belongings. Be clear they are part of the decision-making process and that both of you are responsible for making the trip a happy memory.
Allow for personal space
Before or after dinner, and for part of a ‘free’ day on our tour, my daughter wanted to text friends and talk to her boyfriend without me in the room listening to every word. Don’t be offended when they ask for personal space. Try to anticipate it. You’ll need it too. Use this time to recharge your batteries as well. Have a drink at the hotel bar, read a book in the lobby, drop into that nearby shop, or if you’re on a tour, spend some time with the other travelers.
Anticipate exhaustion
Jet lag or a busy day can make any of us grumpy. If you are changing time zones, those first few days are tough until your internal clock shifts. Add at least one extra day to your trip at the beginning for wandering an area without a strict itinerary. Use this time to stroll the streets, have lunch, and start shifting your internal clock. Tell yourself your vacation starts tomorrow so that you don’t feel the need to pack the day. Does it really matter if you see that statue?
Any other suggestions? What’s worked for you?
