Why Do We Spend Our Lives Chasing “Someday” Dreams? And What Changes After 50?
By the time we pass 50, most of us have lived long enough to notice a pattern. We’ve spent decades saying “Someday”.
“Someday I’ll take that trip.”
“Someday I’ll write that novel.”
“Someday I’ll slow down and smell the flowers instead of just weeding around them.
“Someday I’ll finally do what I want to do instead of being driven to make sure everyone else is able to do what they want to do.”
“Someday” becomes a Rubbermaid storage bin that contains our biggest dreams held for another day. The seal can be so tight that no oxygen can get inside to let the dreams breathe, grow, or even rot. We just store them away, and “Someday” becomes one big delay.
Why Do We Chase Dreams?
Why do we spend so much of our lives chasing dreams we rarely give ourselves permission to start or experience?
And more importantly—why does everything about those dreams feel different once we cross the half-century mark?
It’s Mental. And By That, I Don’t Mean Crazy.
No matter our age, the brain loves imagining or anticipating the future. Anticipation releases dopamine, which means dreaming actually feels good. Basically, dreaming’s benefits are rooted in science. Yay science!
Dreaming is easy. Doing can be risky.
While many of us (including myself until I did a bit of research on this topic) think dopamine shows up when we achieve something, the big spike actually comes before the action—during anticipation. That ‘feel good’ feeling during anticipation is sometimes better than when we’re actually doing the action.
When you picture:
the trip you want to take
the book you want to write
the life you might live someday
Your brain gives you a chemical “preview thrill” and it feels exciting, hopeful, and uplifting.
When a dream stays in the “Someday” category, it can’t disappoint us. It can’t fail. It can’t expose us for the dreams or desires we have.
But additionally, a dream sealed in a Rubbermaid container is never given life, and therefore, can’t ever come true.
We’ve Cared For Everyone Else First
After 50, most readers share a similar life résumé:
Raising kids
Building careers
Caring for parents
Running households
Being the reliable one
It’s no wonder our own dreams slide when we’re busy keeping everyone else afloat.
But there’s a quiet shift that happens after 50. Responsibilities start to loosen up just enough to make space for ourselves again. And, the question becomes: Will you take up that space?
“It’s OK to take up space!”
We Think Dreams Need Perfect Timing
We often wait for the mythical “right time” to make our dreams a reality. We create requirements that need to be met such as:
when we’ve got more money
when work slows down
when we’re in better shape
when life gets less chaotic
Is there really such a thing as perfect timing? Or, is this just a postponement tactic?
After 50, we start to realize that:
“We have to create the right time to do something—the ‘right time’ rarely appears on its own.”
We Were Taught to Live Later
Many of us grew up with the promise that retirement was when we would finally get to live. That’s when we would travel. That’s when we would try new hobbies. That’s when life would become ours again.
But the world has changed. Retirement looks different. People live longer but also live busier lives. And most of us have learned through experience that life doesn’t automatically open up when the calendar says it should.
“We don’t have to wait for “later” anymore. We’re allowed to live now.”
After 50, the Value of Time Becomes Real
One of the great gifts—and great wake-up calls—of midlife is clarity. We know now that:
time is not infinite
energy is precious
experiences matter more than possessions
meaning matters more than approval
Suddenly the dream isn’t just a dream—it’s a calling. If we want the dream to become a reality, we have to take action now.
“After 50, something inside us says, “If not now… when?” And that question can change everything.”
Someday Dreams Tell Us Who We Are Becoming
The desires we’ve carried for years—travel, learning a language, starting a business, moving somewhere beautiful—aren’t random.
They are messages from the truest part of ourselves.
At 50 and beyond, we finally have the perspective to listen. The courage to do something about it. And the wisdom to know the dream doesn’t have to be anything grand—it just has to be started.
How Do You Get Started?
Take one small step. Not a dramatic leap. Not a life overhaul. Just a single step in the direction of the thing you’ve postponed.
Book the class.
Write the paragraph.
Plan the trip.
Say “yes” to the idea that’s been whispering in your ears for decades. Take action. And remember that even a small action will help shrink “someday” into “today.”
Conclusion
For several decades, I kept the dream of getting my masters degree in a Rubbermaid container. I found working full-time and raising a family with an ‘all in’ commitment didn’t allow me the time or energy to take classes at that time. Heading back to school was always a ‘Someday’ dream. When I finally pursued the degree full-time (and in-person) in my early 60s, I found myself constantly thinking, ‘what took me so long?’
We spend our lives chasing “someday” dreams because dreaming feels safe, life gets busy, and we’re conditioned to believe the future will be more convenient than the present.
But after 50, something shifts.
We stop waiting.
We start choosing.
And we realize the most important truth:
“Someday isn’t coming. But today is
here—and is full of possibility.”
So what dream do you have that you could start to address today? If you’ve been making headway on your bucket list or dreams, how did you start? Let our readers know!
