Now, I don’t want to offend anyone who grew up in Boston. Nor, do I want to offend anyone local who’s made it big in Hollywood. Good for you on both counts.

That said, here’s my version of ‘Bawstin Accent 101’. It’s very basic and doesn’t cover a ton of nuances or phrases that are too raw or impolite to use in a blog post. What follows are just a few guidelines. I’ve put the correct spelling of words in parenthesis so you know what’s what.

Hollywood Act-ahs (Actors) ah (are) Buch-ahs (Butchers)

Don’t listen to anyone from Hollywood playing a paht (part) in a movie that takes place in Bawstin (Boston) and think it’s the real deal. Honestly, most don’t sound like us. At all. They em-bah-res (embarrass) themselves. They just sound supah (super) wee-id (weird).

Bawstin locals know they-ah (they’re) not locals and that they’ve been coached. It might be somethin’ in our watah (water) or maybe all the haddock and cawd (cod) fish or clam chowdah (chowder) we eat that fawm (form) a-wah (our) palettes (I’m talkin’ about the mouth faw-ma-tion (formation), not the taste thing). Don’t know. But these Hollywood im-pos-tahs (imposters) drive us nuts. So don’t go to them for correctness about Bawstin (Boston) tawk (talk). For Gawd’s (God’s) sake!

Even Affleck, Damon and Wahlberg

We-ah (We’re) very proud of the real locals who have made it big in Hollywood like Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and the Wahlbergs, but we get irritated with them too when they po-ah (pour) the Bawstin (Boston) accent on too thick. These stahs (stars) may be authentic, but I think Hollywood must request they ‘kick it up a notch’ because they seem to ov-ah (over)-emphasize how locally raised Baw-stow-ni-ans (Bostonians) tawked (talked) back in the day (more to come on that).

It’s traumatizing and lacks the authentic accent they grew up with. In the middle of a supah (super) im-paw-tant (important) scene, you’ll he-ah (hear) us break the tension with, ‘Wait. What the fxxx did he just say? Did you hear that?! That just sounds wicked stupid!’

Hyundai “Smaht Pahk” (Smart Park) Commercial

Chris Evans, John Krasinski, and Rachel Dratch, all from the Bawstin metro area (not the city itself) did a great job with this commercial. They may have o-vah (over)-emphasized pronunciations a bit but because it was hu-mah-rus (humorous) to begin with, the gen-ral (general) consensus was aw-some (awesome!) But who doesn’t love these 3 ac-tahs (actors), am I right?

Hoity-Toity Kennedy Accent

When Hollywood ac-tahs (actors) use a hoity-toity, Kennedy-like accent, we-ah (we’re) not impressed e-tha (either.) The Kennedys, who ah (are) still re-ve-ahed (revered) by many he-ah (here) have historically had what I’ll call a ‘Kennedy accent’. It’s slightly diff-ah-rent (different) than the traditional Bawstin (Boston) accent because they didn’t grow up in Southie (South Bawstin), Chahls-town (Charlestown), or other neigh-ba-hoods (neighborhoods) that are in the haht (heart) of Bawstin (Boston). No-ah (Nor) did they go to schools in those sections of the city. They grew up in Brookline and on the Cape (Cape Cod)—and that means they might as well have lived in a different country. No joke.

What’s up with the R?

As you’ll he-yah (hear) on a visit to Bawstin (Boston), ow-ah (our) accent puts a lot of focus on the let-tah (letter) Ah (R). And yes, if a word ends in ‘er’, we drop the ‘r’ at the end. For example, I have a sis-tah (sister) named Jen-ni-fah (Jennifer). We just call hah (her) Jen. It’s e-z-ah (easier.)

We also add an ‘er’ in words ending in ‘a’. Confusing? Not if yah (you’re) from Bawstin (Boston). For example, I have a friend Linda who was bo-an (born) and raised in Re-ve-ah (Revere) and her dad (and I) always pronounce her name as ‘Linder’. And, I had a friend Donner (Donna). Both of their parents are (ah) locals, by the way.

What About That ‘O’?

They-ahs (There’s) a lot of fan-faa-ah (fanfare) around the letter Ah (R), but the letter ‘O’, pah-tic-u-lah-ly (particularly) in the middle of a werd (word) is werth (worth) noting because we ah (are) a bit inconsistent. O-ah-dah-ring (ordering) caw-fee (coffee) at Dunks (Dunkin’ Donuts) or Stah-bucks (Starbucks) is pretty common.

What’s Up With The Accent in Today’s Bawstin (Boston)?

It breaks my haht (heart) to admit it, but Bawstin (Boston) accents you’d he-ah (hear) ev-ry-we-ah (everywhere) in town, back in the day, are not as prominent as they once wer-ah (were). The reason: gentrification.

If you go to a bah (bar) in Southie (South Boston), you’ll know right away if the clientele is local (meaning ‘I grew up he-ah’) or if the bah (bar) ca-tahs (caters) to the 20-somethings that have taken o-vah (over) this section of town.

College-educated kids who werk (work) white call-ah (collar) jobs in the city go fo-ah (for) many of the a-paht-ment (apartment) rentals in Southie. Not only do they pay up-wahds (upwards) of $3700/month fo-wah (for) a 2-bedroom a-paht-ment (apartment) that once housed a local Irish family back in the day, but they spend loads of money in the local bahs (bars) and take-out establishments. You might identify them by how they dress, but you’ll know for shoe-wuh (sure) as soon as they open the-ah (their) mouths.

Gentrification has hit all the Bawstin (Boston) naa-bah-hoods (neighborhoods)—even the Nawth (North) End which was once predominantly Italian. That area is still filled with small Italian restaurants and shops, and gen-a-ra-tions (generations) of Italian families. Nonnas sit outside in front of their a-paht-ments (apartments) during good we-thah (weather) months. Many a-paht-ment (apartment) buildings are still owned by local Italian families—not changing much in the dwellings in the last 50 ye-ahs (years.) That said, many rentals are now fought o-vah (over) by the twenty- and thirty-somethings. You’ll he-ah (hear) Italian spoken foe-ah (for) shoe-wah (sure), but ren-tahs (renters) are faeh-ly (fairly) diverse now.

Identifying Locals From Vi-zi-tahs (Visitors) or Transplants

I’m not going to claim that the Bawstin (Boston) accent in town is completely gone. Case in point: My daw-tah (daughter) was in a Southie bah (bar) not long ago—a classic Southie bah, given how she described it (small, dahk (dark), smelled musty and like old be-ah (beer), and had a pool table.) When one guy had a few too many and spilled his be-ah (beer) on his shirt, his friends laughed and said, ‘you look wicked retahded’ (retarded). The phrase gave them away. Locals. Definitely. Even though the werd (word) re-tah-ded (retarded) is a sensitive term, locals don’t seem to ca-ah (care.)

Another tell-all is when people pronounce local town names. Non-locals just can’t pronounce Worcester and Gloucester (Wuh-stah and Glaw-stah) when th-ah (they’re) reading a map or asking for directions to these towns. If you say, Wore-chest-er, you ah (are) a vi-zi-tah (visitor) foe-wah (for) shoe-wah (sure.)

Boston Slang

You can identify a true local not only by the-ah (their) accent but also by the slang they use. He-ah (here) ah (are) a few favorites of mine:

• Wicked: Very or really (by fah (far) the most commonly used Bawstownian word)

• Awesome: Cool/great

• Steamed clams: Steamahs

• Haddock, cod, and schrod: often used interchangeably foe-wah (for) the same local white fish

• Turn signal: blinkah (‘Changing lanes? Use yah blinkah’)

• TV channel changer: clickah (Who’s got the clickah?)

• Trash can: barrel

• Liquor store: packie (I gotta stop at the packie on my way home.)

• Chocolate sprinkles on ice cream: jimmies

• Traffic circle or roundabout: rotary (roe-tah-ree)

• Basement of house: cell-ah (cellar)

• Less vul-gah (vulgar) term for the F-word: friggin’

• Grocery cart: carriage

• Local (born and raised) individual: townie

Slang I Don’t He-ah (Hear) So Much These Days

It could be my age, but I don’t he-ah (hear) the following slang much any-moe-wah (anymore). When I was growin’ up in the Bawstin area, they wah (were) pretty common:

• Bang a Uey: Make a U-Turn

• Pissah: Cool/great

• Beantown: I nevah (never) evah (ever) heard this except from non-locals

• Tawnic: tonic used to re-feh-ah (refer) to all soft drinks but I he-ah (hear) the word ‘soda’ moe-ah (more) often these days

• Dungarees: jeans

Disclaimer

Writing out the praw-pah (proper) Bawstin (Boston) pronunciation is not an easy task for a non-linguist. I sounded most werds (words) out and found myself questioning if I was pronouncing an ‘aw’ or an ‘ah’ or something else entirely.

Whatevah (Whatever!) It was wicked hahd (hard.) I realized I have a Bawstin (Boston) townie accent even though I grew up 20 minutes nawth (north) of the city.